Rambo-ing Your Resistance

So why did I dive head first into photography?  Two reasons: affirmation and fear.  This empowering affirmation didn't come from the easily obtained bounty of family and friends who love me even if I am a disaster.  It came from the unlikely source of a very difficult to please photography instructor. 

His affirmation didn't have a sound.  It was just the rise of one eyebrow and the increased intensity of his gaze to the newly-processed black and white print in my shaky hands.  Suddenly, I would sense his irritation decrease and knew that I had passed muster.  In that instant, I had momentarily relieved him of his ever-present wince and quite possibly delivered him a dose of encouragement in his ability to teach imbeciles.  All this accomplished with my art.  What power! 

And fear.  This photography teacher petrified me.  The public presentation of my work froze me.  The mechanics of a camera stumped me.  And there was this voice of my 9 year-old self saying, "Just stand over here and be quiet and watch to see what everyone else is doing so you will fit in."  Let's not mention that 3 a.m. nagging thought concerning where I am investing our financial reserves.  (Just in case you thought photography is a cheap hobby; do think again).

Nobody told me that once a woman hits 40 she really doesn't care anymore.  Something rises up (maybe it has something to do with a certain coinciding estrogen drop) that wants to take on new adventures and accomplish enormous things before The End.  I find that I have less energy and bigger dreams.  I want to DO and BE and SEE everything, and need a nap in the afternoon. 

Now, what was once a fear is now a challenge that I am thoroughly enjoying obliterating.  While others are spending their evenings with the television or on computer games (Farmville), I am learning and creating.  One of the best things I ever did for my photography was lean over and introduce myself to someone next to me at a photography conference.  We exchanged business cards and spent nearly every night for the next several weeks talking on the telephone just to learn from each other.  I still can't believe how far I've come because of all Mandy shared with me.

A while back, I picked up this little book called "The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles" by Steven Pressfield.  The first time I read it, I didn't really like it much.  But the other night, I found this interested excerpt,

'Resistance is Infallible:  Like a magnetized needle floating on a surface of oil, Resistance will unfailingly point to true North -- meaning that calling or action it most wants to stop us from doing. 

We can use this.  We can use it as a compass.  We can navigate by Resistance, letting it guide us to that calling or action that we must follow before all others. 

Rule of thumb:  The more important a call or action is to our soul's evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.'

In other words, what is that Thing that you avoid most of all?  We aren't talking about something that you really shouldn't do because it would cause harm to you or your loved ones.  No, this is a good Thing that is avoided because of fear, time constraints, or a million other pretty good excuses.  That Thing that you should do.  What is your Thing?  I'd like to hear from you.

Start small, just move forward.  Don't wait until you are 40.